Separating Together

Not every separation is a war. Plenty of couples reach the end of a relationship still able to talk to each other, and want to sort things out without it becoming something neither of them recognises.

The usual route makes that harder than it needs to be. You each instruct a solicitor, you each pay one, and everything travels between you in letters. It works, and sometimes it’s necessary. But it can put distance between two people who were managing perfectly well on their own.

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How Separating Together works.

One solicitor between you

You share the cost of one solicitor rather than paying for two, and share the legal fees between you.

Advice you both hear

Everything is shared. There are no private conversations, no separate strategies and nothing held back from either of you.

Usually no court

Most couples reach an agreement that we then submit to the court for approval, without either of you needing to attend.

Other experts, brought in jointly

Financial advisers, pension specialists, accountants, mediators and counsellors can all work with you both.

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One solicitor, advising you both.

Separating Together lets you both work with one solicitor rather than one each. We use the Resolution Together model, an established approach developed by Resolution, the national body for family lawyers committed to resolving matters constructively. The solicitor advises you jointly, in the same room, and helps you reach decisions about your finances and your children together rather than through intermediaries.

What it involves

One solicitor between you

You share the cost of one solicitor rather than paying for two, and share the legal fees between you.

Advice you both hear

Everything is shared. There are no private conversations, no separate strategies and nothing held back from either of you.

Usually no court

Most couples reach an agreement that we then submit to the court for approval, without either of you needing to attend.

Other experts, brought in jointly

Financial advisers, pension specialists, accountants, mediators and counsellors can all work with you both.

What the process looks like.

It starts with a separate meeting with each of you. That’s partly so we understand what you’re each dealing with, and partly to check honestly whether this is the right approach for you.

If it is, you’ll meet together, and we’ll set out the decisions that need making and agree how you’ll share financial information. From there it’s usually a further joint meeting to work through the options and reach a solution, though some couples need more, particularly where there are arrangements for children to settle.

Once you’ve decided, there’s a fourteen day cooling off period before anything is finalised. Then we draw up the documents and send them to the court for approval.

When it isn’t the right approach.

This approach isn’t right for everyone, and we’d rather say so than let you find out the hard way. It works where two people can communicate reasonably well and both genuinely want to sort things out. It isn’t the right choice where there’s a lot of conflict, where there are concerns about domestic abuse or the safety of children, or where one person isn’t willing to be open about the finances. Some situations are simply too complicated for it. If any of that sounds familiar, our Divorce & Separation page sets out the usual route, and if safety is a concern please see our Domestic Abuse page.

Separation isn’t a tidy process, and it doesn’t move in a straight line. If it becomes clear along the way that this isn’t working, we’ll tell you, and we’ll talk through what to do instead, whether that’s instructing your own solicitors or trying mediation.