The divorce process in England and Wales: what actually happens

If you’ve never been through it, the divorce process is hard to picture. People imagine court dates, solicitors arguing, having to prove something. For the great majority of couples, none of that happens.

What actually happens is closer to a sequence of forms, with two long waits built in. We’ve set it all out below so you know what’s coming.

Two things worth saying before we start.

The first is that this is about ending the marriage. Sorting out money, property and pensions is a separate process running alongside it, and it’s the part that will still be affecting your life in twenty years.

The second is that reading about a process and going through one are different things. Plenty of people handle the application themselves and come to us for the parts that matter. Others would much rather someone experienced took the whole thing off their hands, and there’s a lot to be said for that when everything else in your life is already difficult. Both are fine by us.

What we’d say to anyone is this: get advice early. Not when something has gone wrong, not after you’ve agreed something you can’t undo. Early. Our first appointment is a fixed fee of £200 plus VAT (£240), and most people come out of it far calmer than they went in.

Can I apply for a divorce?

You can apply if you’ve been married for at least a year. The earliest you can apply is the day after your first anniversary.

You’ll also need to be able to show a connection to England and Wales, usually through where you or your spouse live.

Two situations where we’d want to hear from you before you do anything else. If you married abroad, or one of you now lives abroad, which country handles your divorce can make a real difference to the outcome, and it isn’t always obvious which is better for you. And if your right to be in the UK depends on your marriage, the divorce will affect your visa. Both are straightforward to deal with at the start and a serious problem halfway through.

Do I need a reason to get divorced?

No. The law changed in April 2022 and nobody has to be blamed any more.

You confirm the marriage has broken down irretrievably, and that’s it. Your spouse can’t contest it because they disagree or think it’s your fault. The only grounds for disputing a divorce now are narrow and technical: that the marriage wasn’t valid, that it has already been ended, or that the courts here have no jurisdiction.

This was a significant change, and a welcome one. It took away the need to list someone’s failings on a form just to be allowed to separate.

Should we apply together or should one of us apply?

You can do either.

A sole application means one of you applies. You’re the applicant, your spouse is the respondent. They’ll be sent the application and asked to acknowledge it.

A joint application means you apply together as applicant 1 and applicant 2. There’s no acknowledgement stage, because you both already know.

A joint application can feel better where the decision is genuinely mutual. You can switch from joint to sole later if things change, but not the other way round. One of you also has to pay the court fee and sort out any sharing of it between you, because the court won’t split it.

If a joint application sounds like you, you can take the same approach to the legal advice. Our Separating Together service lets a couple work with one solicitor between them rather than one each, sharing the cost. It tends to be calmer, quicker and less expensive. There’s more on how it works further down.

And if none of that describes your situation, that’s alright too. Not every separation is amicable, and nobody should feel they’ve failed at it if theirs isn’t. A sole application isn’t a hostile act. Where things are difficult, you’re far better off with someone experienced in your corner from the start than trying to hold it together alone.

What do I need before I apply?

• Your marriage certificate. The original or a certified copy. If you married abroad and it isn’t in English, you’ll need a certified translation.
• Your spouse’s details. Full name, home address and a personal email address. Not a work one.
• Proof of a name change, if your name is different from the one on the certificate.

Small point that causes real delays: if details don’t match the certificate exactly, the application gets sent back.

If even this feels like more than you can face at the moment, say so. Hand it to us and it’s dealt with. That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to want, and it’s often the thing that lets people get on with the rest of their lives while this runs in the background.

What are the steps?

1. Check you’re eligible. Married at least a year.
2. Submit the application. Online in most cases. The court fee is paid at this point. It’s currently £628.
3. Your spouse is notified. On a sole application the court serves the papers. On a joint application you’re both sent notice that the divorce has started.
4. Acknowledgement. On a sole application your spouse confirms they’ve received it, within 14 days. On a joint application you each confirm receipt.
5. The 20-week wait. A fixed pause built into the law, running from the date of the application. There’s nothing to do with the court during this time. In practice, this is when the financial side should be getting sorted out.
6. Apply for the conditional order. Once the 20 weeks are up, you confirm you want to proceed.
7. Conditional order granted. The court confirms there’s no reason you can’t divorce. You’re still married at this stage.
8. Wait 6 weeks and 1 day, then apply for the final order.
9. Final order granted. The marriage is legally over. The court usually issues it within a day or two of the application.

If we’re acting for you, we handle every one of those steps and tell you when something is needed from you. You don’t have to keep track of deadlines or wonder whether you’ve missed a form.

How long does a divorce take?

A minimum of about six months, because of the 20-week and 6-week waits. Nothing speeds those up.

In reality, most take longer. The usual reason isn’t the divorce itself; it’s the finances. Where those are complicated or contested, the whole thing can run to a year or more.

That’s not time wasted, and it’s the strongest argument for getting advice at the beginning. Couples who sort the financial side out during the 20-week wait tend to finish on time. The ones who leave it are usually the ones still going eighteen months later.

What happens if my spouse doesn’t respond?

It slows things down, but it doesn’t stop the divorce.

There are several routes available: asking a court bailiff to serve the papers, asking the court to accept that your spouse has received them, or asking to proceed where they genuinely can’t be traced. Each has its own process, its own form and its own cost.

Bring this one to us. Choosing the wrong route can mean going back to the beginning, and being ignored by someone you’re trying to divorce is frustrating enough without that.

What if I’m worried about my spouse knowing my address?

You can ask the court to keep it confidential. There’s a question about it on the application form, and it matters that you tick it before you submit rather than afterwards.

If your partner makes you feel anxious or unsafe, please tell us early. It changes how your case should be handled, it affects what protection is available to you, and it may affect what help you can get with legal costs. You won’t be asked to go into more detail than you want to.

What’s the one thing people get wrong on the form?

Ticking “no” to the question about a financial order.

The question asks whether you intend to apply for a financial order. Tick yes, even if you’ve already agreed everything with your spouse, even if there’s very little to divide. It doesn’t start anything or commit you to anything. It simply preserves your right to apply later.

Tick no, and if you remarry you may lose the ability to make a financial claim at all.

It’s one small box with lasting consequences, and it’s a good illustration of why an hour of advice at the start is worth so much more than it costs. We’d have caught it in the first ten minutes.

Does the divorce sort out the money?

No, and this is the single most important thing on this page.

The divorce ends the marriage. It doesn’t divide anything, and it doesn’t close off financial claims between you. Those claims stay open, potentially for years, unless a court order ends them.

So two people can be divorced, moved on, and one of them can still make a claim against the other later. It isn’t common. But it happens, and by then it’s very difficult to do anything about.

What closes it off is a financial order. Where you’ve agreed terms between you, that’s a consent order: your agreement, approved by a judge and made binding. It can be submitted once the conditional order stage is reached.

When should we deal with the finances?

During the 20-week wait, ideally. That’s what the pause is for.

If you take one thing from this page, make it this: talk to a solicitor before you agree anything about money. Not after. What you settle on now will shape your finances for decades, and most of it can’t be revisited once a judge has approved it.

It’s also where things come up that people hadn’t thought about. What a pension is really worth, as opposed to what the statement says. What happens to the mortgage. How joint debts are dealt with. Whether a clean break is possible, and whether you’d want one. These are the conversations that change outcomes, and they take one appointment.

There’s a timing trap too. Applying for the final order before the finances are settled can affect what you’re entitled to, particularly around pensions. It’s rarely a reason to panic, but it is a reason to speak to us before taking that last step.

Two smaller things to raise with us while we’re at it, because people usually only remember them years later: your will, which divorce affects but not in the way most people assume, and any pension or life insurance nominations, which don’t update themselves.

Do I need a solicitor for a divorce?

For the application itself, not necessarily. It’s designed to be done online, and plenty of people do it themselves.

What we’d say is this. The application is the easy part. It’s what you agree about money and children that lasts, and that’s where advice earns its keep.

Beyond that, it depends what you want. Some people are happy to run the process themselves and come to us for the parts that matter. Others would much rather someone experienced took the whole thing off their hands, and there’s a lot to be said for that when everything else in your life is already difficult. There’s no prize for doing it the hard way.

Either way, the starting point is the same conversation. Tell us what you want and we’ll work to it.

Can we use one solicitor between us?

If you’re on reasonably good terms, yes. Separating Together is our one couple, one solicitor service, where you work with a single solicitor and share the cost.

It won’t suit every situation, and we’ll say so where it doesn’t. Where there’s real conflict, concerns about domestic abuse or the safety of children, or where one of you isn’t willing to be open about the finances, you need your own solicitor. That’s not a worse outcome. It’s the right one for those circumstances, and we’ll act for you properly.

What about the children?

Arrangements for children sit outside the divorce process entirely. Plenty of parents work them out between themselves, and where that’s going well, good.

But it isn’t always straightforward. Where the issues are complex, where there’s been domestic abuse, or where you simply can’t reach agreement, advice makes a real difference. We can talk through what’s involved, help you weigh up the options, and work out the best way forward for your family. The court only becomes involved if you can’t agree.

Child maintenance is handled separately too, usually through the Child Maintenance Service or by agreement between you. We can help with that as well.

Where should I start?

With one conversation, before you agree anything or submit anything.

Our first appointment is a fixed fee of £200 plus VAT (£240). You’ll have dedicated time with an experienced family law solicitor, your position explained in plain terms, and a clear view of what you’re actually dealing with. Most people find it a good deal less frightening than they expected.

From there it’s your call. If you’d like us to take it on and handle the lot, we will. If you’d rather deal with parts of it yourself, we’ll tell you which parts and what to look out for.

To book, or just to talk it through first, please call us, email us or visit our contact page.

Kate Jackson leads the family law team at Nicholsons and advises regularly on divorce and separation for clients across Norfolk, Suffolk and beyond. If you’d like to speak to Kate directly, please call 01603 558 713 or email kjackson@nicholsonslaw.com.